"I love you"

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"I love you" is a curse word.

I only whisper it, afraid of being heard.
Relishing the way it tastes on my lips like a child spitting out their first "damn." 

I check to make sure no one hears me.

I love you.

"I love you" is a weapon.

Used against me in my weakest times, a knife held at my throat.
And your lips are warm at my neck, your words are sharp against it.

And my heart pounds when it hears them,
It senses the threat,
When someone says "I love you" what they mean is "I am about to hurt you." 

I love you.

"I love you" is an excuse,
Something we chalk up our rash and hurtful mistakes to saying it was in love.

Out of love.

It's an apology, a mistake.

"I love you" is just a phrase people use when they don't know what else to say.

For you it's always been a question,
and my heart doesn't have the answer.





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