Grief Written

Holding your hand in mine was like placing my own destruction between your fingers.  With your hand in mine I wondered if you could feel my flickering pulse screaming that I'm human. My destruction was at your fingertips, as soon as you learned through my loose grip and my slightly damp hands that I was flesh and blood. My calm exterior was shattered, My concrete walls destroyed, Because as you held my hand you learned I wasn't the untouchable girl I pretended to be. I am human. I have a heart that beats unsteadily in my chest, I have blood that rushes to my cheeks, I am breakable. You can tear me apart, And I'm begging you not to. Because holding your hand feels like all I've ever lost coming back to me, But it also seems like all I ever had slipping through my fingers; Perhaps to be held by you or lost forever. I placed my own destruction between your fingers, A sensitive time grenade, Ringing out in slow rhythmic ticks how long we could possibly last. If you pull you

I have the letter you wrote me hanging on the wall, I can't bring myself to take it down. I know I should,  because every time I look at it my heart aches and my eyes water. I trace the letters etched into the paper. Smooth away the crinkles like I could smooth away my hurt. I can't bring my fingers to grip the page and tug it down. To hear the page ripping like an echo of my heart. Because although the letter on the wall is making my heart ache it's holding me together. The letter on the wall reminds me that even if you may hate me now you loved me once. And that alone is the tape that holds the letter to the wall and the pieces of my heart together.