Russian roulette

Love is a game of Russian roulette.

You hand me a bullet with a question of whether I want to play.


Let's put a revolver to our hearts,
And hear the chamber click like it's an answer to a question we don't know we've asked.

Can you pull the trigger first?
Or are we haunted by the past?

The loaded gun, heavy in our hands, resembling the loaded question of love. 

I was always quick on the draw.

I can't count all observers who watched me fall, pull the trigger, without a second thought because love is all I sought; and as I lay there bleeding with a wounded heart, they ask me if I knew that the resounding shot wasnt signaling the start.

It was the shot of the final lap. The end. 
They didn't tell me when I leapt that it was a misstep, the law of gravity doesn't bend for anyone.

Not for me. Not for you. Not for people in love, because gravity is an abusive relationship you can't get out of.

We can't float on cloud nine because we have limited time in the sky. We're walking a tight rope line with heavy shoes and we're bound to lose. Gravity is a rigged game, it always wins.

Yet we lie to ourselves and say "the ground and I are just friends," when we know that's where all our flight paths end. You end up in the same place, no matter how many turns you take they'll be a turn for the worst.

Tracing the trigger I see visions of hearses escorting all the dead and gone loves laid to rest.

This life and love is a question on a multiple choice test. 

But I have no answers. 

Just a gun in my hand and your eyes with miles inside of them on mine asking the question, "how far will you go?" 

And with sweaty fingers I'm so scared to tell you that I dont know.

The cold metal pressed against my skin.
Echo of gun fire ringing in my head.

I wonder if you can see how much I've bled.

Love is a game of Russian roulette.
You hand me a bullet with a question of whether I want to play.

And my answer is a bullet to the heart because if I have to fall apart I'd fall for you. I just hope I live long enough to see if you feel the same, or die knowing that this love was just a game.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Astronomer

"How are you?"