Grief Written

I am filled with pink promises with crossed fingers behind my back I've got more death wishes than dreams  and I write suicide notes on the back of to do lists and laugh at the irony  I lean over railings and walk curbs like they're tight ropes Sometimes I lay upside down on my bed to feel all the blood rush to my head and I wonder how much blood the human body holds and it makes me dizzy but then I sit up and it all fades and I wish I could just sit up and this would all fade I'm always crying and crying and crying I don't know how to stop I store water in the well of sadness deep inside me I've broken my heart open a thousand times for people who weren't even thirsty and so the water just continues to spill over the sides maybe we'll enter a drought  I think about heartbreak and how you can actually die from it and wonder if I will when I feel it every time and how is it that my god damn heart is so resilient  I f...

I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you              Please come home  I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you

I miss you in the way that I breathe And that’s naturally I don’t even notice I’m doing it But when I do, it becomes uncomfortable. I’m uncomfortable with the unsteadiness of my breath as I try to adjust I can feel the out of rhyme inhalations and exhalations You’re like the air in my lungs In and out of my life There sometimes when I need you And then out like ghost, an exhalation in cold air I can’t seem to catch my breath I’ve got the wind knocked out of me And I’m gasping like you’d return if you heard me You take my breath away in the worst way I miss you Even though what we had is polluted The climate is changing Emissions Admission: I miss you