The boy I don't love: a trilogy

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For some reason I always come back to you,
I'm not sure why.

There's nothing tying me to you.
Not a kiss,
Not a touch,
Not an unfinished moment,
Not a collection of what ifs.

why do I find myself writing to you?

You're still in love with someone else,
I'm not sure what love is anymore.

You write to her and I'm still here writing to you.
It doesn't make any sense to me anymore.

Your writing makes me wish I wrote more often,
Your writing makes me wish I quit writing.

It makes me feel things that I wish I knew I had forgotten how to feel.

God it feels like youre ripping my heart out and using the blood to write.
Something about you makes me remember things about him and him.

I'm not repeating myself.

I have mixed feelings about you, I wish it was mixed drinks.
I don't drink.
But sometimes I wish I did.

Poetry still makes my heart hurt, just like he does and did.

Do you still love her?
Is she the kind of girl that you love for the rest of your late night thoughts?

Please don't answer that.

You are the characterization of my conflicted feelings.
You want to fight all your ex girlfriends boyfriends,
I just want to fight someone who isn't myself.

God this is a mess.
I hope you're okay.
I hope your travels fill the empty spaces in your heart.

Tell me if maps are the way to discover yourself.
Let me know what lies beyond the bottom lockers I still find myself opening.



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