Secondary emotion

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"I don't know why I say the things I do and I don't know why I can't just trust my baby. I wish I could just bottle it all up and throw it off a cliff never to be seen again. I don't want to be scared all the time. I don't want to wonder if I'm good enough. I hate it. I hate how I take it all out on you. 

You don't deserve it. You're only human. The mistakes you make aren't intended to hurt me. They're only mistakes. 

Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that doesn't mean they have to pay for them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes the best people make bad choices. It doesn't mean they're bad, It just means their human." -a confession from a regretful boy. July 5, 2015.

You know I loved you.
You know I chose you.
You know that I gave you everything.

You know that I did everything to be forgiven.

You know that for a long time until the end you didn't treat me how I deserved. 

You're angry and I understand.
You're trying to hurt me, trying to carve wounds to match your own. Picking at my insecurities. It's okay.

Anger is a secondary emotion.
I know you're not really angry.
I know you'll regret hurting me as soon as you do it.

I know you.
I know you loved me.
Underneath the anger and harsh words and the blaming, is a boy. One who is actually very good.

He's sad.
He's hurt.
He's scared.

I understand, it's okay.

We both made mistakes, but we don't have to live by them forever.

I forgave myself.
I forgave you.

You don't have to be sad, hurt, or scared.

Because there was a boy who once told me that everything will turn out how it's supposed to. That everything will be okay.


So even if you can't trust me, trust that. 

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