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Grief Written

She wasn't grief ridden, she was grief written. Words traced in salty ink.

I dont know

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- January 31, 2015

I have moments when I feel as if I can't breathe.

I have moments when I'm crushingly sad for no reason.

I have moments when I hate myself.

I hate myself even more when I see you struggling with my moments.

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The Astronomer

- October 17, 2014

She was a galaxy, Lit from the inside with stars. He loved the night sky, So he observed her from afar. But he was was only an astronomer, And she was the endless night, So he sat with his telescope and waited until the time was right. He traced her constellations, He drew her crescent smile, But the astronomer never realized that even a galaxy can be fragile. She was constant, And so was he, The astronomer and the galaxy. So he found it surprising when he stepped out in the night, That the endless sky was devoid of any light. The astronomer fell to his knees and wept, Her name fell from his lips in a desperate plea. He searched the grass for stardust, He looked for a flicker of her in the sky. Surrounded by darkness he realized, stars shine the brightest before they die.

"How are you?"

- July 07, 2014

"How are you?" they ask. They always ask that. It's become a standard greeting, a standard question. It's lost its significance. No one really stops to think about what they're really asking. How are you? I usually give a standard response to the standard question. My lips shape the word, or my fingers type the four letter word. Okay. Because what else am I supposed to say? They don't really care how I am. They're just starting conversation. It's an unwritten rule that you must lie. You grit your teeth, hold back the tears, and give your standardized response. I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm alright. These are the responses that are expected if you can't give an honest "I'm doing swell how about yourself?" Because you can't let them know that you're falling apart. You can't let them know that your heart hurts, that your lungs ache, or that sometimes you just wish that you could disappear. Vanish. Poof. I can't le...