ICYMI

in case you missed it:

i still smell like that perfume, mixed with sunscreen
and i still taste the same, or so i'm told.

my eyes are greener these days, but they still change.
my friend likes to joke that they change with my mood,
i wonder what green means?

i can't look at people when they make me cry, but you know that.

i still bite my nails, grind my teeth, and cry in my car.

but i also sing in my car, with the windows down, sometimes with a hand in mine.
the air conditioning in my car stopped working but i can't bring myself to sell the car.

i still wear sundresses and lipstick
but i also wear ripped jeans and scrunchies and band t-shirts.

i laugh a lot more now, with reckless abandon and hair in my face, like i used to,
or that's what my dad says.

i got a promotion, and then another one.
i got an internship, and then another, and then another.

i have an executive position in my sorority, VP of Philanthropy.
i also joined a debate team and i forgot how much i missed it.

i messed up a couple times.

i got into a fight with my best friend,
we went two months without talking
it isn't the same
but when you break things they don't always fit together like they used to.

i came and went, and then came back again.

drove thousands of miles.

kissed a couple boys.

tried new things,
liked them,
couldn't stop.

stopped chewing watermelon gum,
kept drinking energy drinks.

we all got older
alex graduated
i cried when he walked across the stage
he cried when he hugged me after

i get sad at night,
and miss things and people i shouldn't.

in case you missed it,
you missed it,
and the girl you miss is similar but not the same.